MAGNETIC REVERIE by Nico J. Genes

Author:Nico J. Genes [Genes, Nico J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Notion Press, Inc.
Published: 2017-06-07T16:00:00+00:00

I had never had a friend like Claire. Sure, I had girl friends, but I felt a different connection with her. The kiss and the relationship she said we had made me think differently of her. But there was something that constantly drew me to her. These wonderful days that we had spent together seemed enough for me to fall in love with her.

Except the kisses and hugs, there was nothing else between us. I was bit scared how I would react if this would go to the next level. As I spoke those three words and I admitted to her and myself that I felt an emotional intimate connection growing between us, this didn’t make me dare thinking of her in sexual way. Can we reprogram our bodies and feel and grow passion for the person we fall in love no matter what our gender is? Or is it the sexual attraction that becomes the first step in falling for somebody? I believe couples have different orders of emotions. In the beginning, I found Claire really pretty, tender, caring, sensitive and strong at the same time. I was comfortable, enjoying myself talking to her, and spending time with her. This was love. Could this lead to something more? Yes, we hugged and kissed and while doing that I felt really pleasant and I didn’t want to admit that I felt aroused, but I did. It happened a few times that while we hugged, we felt each other’s breasts and sometimes our hands accidentally touched the other’s breast on the side. But those moments didn’t make me wish for anything more. When we first hugged, it was strange to feel her breasts touching me but I tried to ignore the feeling, however with time I got used to it and found a secretive pleasure from it. My whole life, I never thought I could be with a girl, I never looked a girl with sexual desire. But now it was different.

Once, I read that we fall in love with a person regardless of gender. In that moment, I didn’t see the depth of this saying. But the more I knew and spent time with Claire, the more I understood it. I read about women who gave up on men once they had their first girlfriend. A majority of them never went back to men. But there weren’t specifics listed and at that time, I didn’t bother much. In my naiveté, I assumed that maybe those women were disappointed with men or had discovered their homosexuality much later. I remember we once had a discussion in a group of heterosexual friends. We were interested to know if there was a female-male role split between them and if they won’t function if they’d wish both to be the female for example. I didn’t think of it then, but I realize now how ignorant I was! I wanted to be able to go back in time and react differently. From the explanation Claire gave me during the day, I knew there was no need to think too deeply about this.

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